People like my husband.  He is just one of those people who gets along well with everyone.  But he has a secret.  He’s kind of an asshole.

Before you judge, know that he’s never an asshole to those he cares about.  Asshole mode is only initiated to serve a purpose – to get shit done, if you will.  And it takes some effort to release his asshole-mode.  But it’s definitely there.

There have been many other brushes with Asshole Poppa.  When our vehicle had major issues right after it went out of warranty, it just took one voicemail from Asshole Poppa to get the dealership to take care of all costs.  And Lord help you if you mess up his breakfast order at McDonald’s after he’s given you a couple chances to fix it.

The most recent version of Asshole Poppa was (I’m sure) actually a very professional, very commanding version as it was dealing with the private company that runs the base housing.

Last week when we went to our new base to tour the homes, we were greeted and shown a beautiful stand alone three bedroom on base.  It wasn’t in the middle of the housing area, so we had a larger back yard and more room between houses than other options.  It was on a cul-de-sac, which I could imagine our girls riding their bikes on.  It was better than we could have hoped for, so we agreed immediately that we wanted to live on base, and decided not to follow up on some of the houses we had found off base.

However Monday morning, we got a disappointing call.  They had for some reason thought Poppa was a Lieutenant Colonel, not simply a Lieutenant.  Therefore we weren’t eligible for a stand alone house, and will instead have a duplex.  Womp Womp.

Very disappointing.

Then Asshole Poppa stepped in.  I’m not entirely privy to all the details, but in his words, “They realized I was a bit angry.” Next thing I know, he texts me that they’ve upgraded us to a four bedroom!  Still a duplex, but we’ll have even more square footage than the stand alone house!

Asshole Poppa truly is my hero!